• Practicing dating to get to know what one likes and dislikes
• Taking things slowly before deciding if a commitment is wanted
• Just getting out of a serious relationship and not wanting a commitment
• Wanting to have fun without the pressure of a committed relationship
• Wanting to keep emotional attachment to a minimum

There are many benefits of casual dating. We get to spend time with someone who likes us and who we like back, but we don't have to worry about labeling the relationship or making any life decisions that revolve around the other person.

Casual dating can be a learning experience, too. Down the line, we may learn that we want to enter into a serious relationship with this person, or we may not. Either way, we are able to better identify our needs in a relationship and what we're looking for in future partners.

Casual sex isn't required to casually date and it's important that both people respect each other's boundaries surrounding sex and physical intimacy. If we do want to establish physical intimacy, casual dating can offer consistency in this respect as well (i.e., having sex with the same partner).

Effects of Casual Dating on Mental Health

Casual dating comes with potential positive and negative mental health effects. On the positive side, it can increase a person's sense of freedom and independence. It may also relieve any feeling of urgency to find a partner and allow a person to focus on themself. Dating can even provide a boost in confidence and self-esteem.2

That said, research on the mental health effects of casual dating is mixed. One reason is because people's experiences can vary so widely. Another is that a lot of the research focuses on the mental health effects of "hooking up" or having casual sex without any relationship at all.

It's possible that casual sex without any type of relationship (friendship, dating, or committed relationship) may increase the risk of negative health effects like anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.4 However, the mental health effects of any kind of dating or sexual encounter depend upon the people and circumstances involved.

As long as we respect our own boundaries, belief systems, and values while also respecting those of others, we can decide whether we wish to proceed with casual dating or whether we'd prefer another dating style or level of commitment.

Are Casual Relationships Less Satisfactory?

Research suggests that, overall, casual relationships can be satisfying for many people, at least for the short term.5 At the same time, because some people may define them differently or have different expectations, they can also be confusing.

If the casual dating relationship involves sex, other studies indicate that the individuals involved can feel satisfied sexually. Research published in the Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality found that while sexual satisfaction was higher for people in married, engaged, or exclusive relationships, a positive link between casual dating and sexual satisfaction still exists.6

Casual Dating and Divorce

Relationship psychologists and sociologists have long believed that casual dating and cohabitation before marriage lead to higher divorce rates. However, this connection is difficult to establish on its own as there are several possible confounding factors, and many studies show the opposite trend.7

How we ask questions and to whom we ask questions about casual dating deeply influence the type of results we get on this topic. If we ask happy couples in both casual and married relationships, they will both show similar patterns of satisfaction and happiness. The same goes for unhappy couples.

Evidence that shows couples as less happy and more likely to divorce may be influenced more by the specific couples and not the couples' relationship styles. Casual dating may or may not lead to higher divorce rates, depending on the person we are dating and the likelihood of a long-term relationship. Researchers can't agree because the research is so varied.

Can Casual Dating Lead to Committed Relationships?

Researchers have begun considering casual dating as a step in a progressive relationship that may eventually lead to long-term commitment or marriage. In other words, casual dating tends to be an early step toward long-term partnerships.

These relationships often begin with a meeting or even hooking up. The two people may start going on dates, perhaps not exclusively at first. If there is compatibility, they may become exclusive, move in together, and eventually marry.

The difference between today's casual dating and the dating styles of previous generations is that now, casual dating more openly involves extramarital sex.1 This may be why more conservative groups tend to denounce casual dating as undesirable. However, since non-marital, casual sex is widely accepted in modern societies, this attitude is less influential than it used to be.

Tips for Casual Dating

While there are no official rules when it comes to casual dating, there are a few guidelines to keep in mind to make the most of this experience.

Be Honest and Open

Casual dating may be more challenging if we experience a strong emotional attachment to someone we're dating and they don't feel the same way. For instance, we may want to only date that one person, but they want to be free to see other people.

Similarly, if we have sex with someone we're casually dating, we may feel hurt or betrayed if we find out this person has been having sex with other people. For these reasons, it's helpful to be upfront about our expectations and ask for honesty from the other person as well.

It's important that both parties understand that the dating is casual—and that they're each okay with this. Some conversation-starters might include:

• Are we both free to date/have sex with other people? If so, do we want to know about it?
• Is it okay if only one of us dates and/or has sex with other people?
• If one of us develops feelings for the other person, would we be open to discussing this?
• Is either of us expecting this relationship to become more serious later on? Is it okay if the relationship only remains casual?

Define the Boundaries

Casual doesn’t mean that there are no boundaries. Defining our boundaries requires considering what kind of behavior is okay with us and what isn't.

Are there limits with regard to physical and sexual intimacy? If these limits are broad, what are the rules for staying safe and protecting each person from sexually transmitted infections (STIs)? Define these parameters in advance so each party knows what they are.

Watch Out for Jealousy

If someone involved in casual dating is having a hard time controlling feelings of jealousy, it might be a sign that they need to take a step back. Casual dating can also be tough for people who are prone to co-dependence or insecurity within a relationship.

Have Fun

There are a lot of things people can do together when casual dating. Consider planning dates around a fun activity, such as:

• Meeting up at a coffee bar
• Seeing a movie or music concert together
• Going out to dinner
• Taking dogs for a walk together
• Window shopping together

Show Respect

Mutual respect is key for any relationship, casual or otherwise. If we go on a date or two and decide that the other person isn't right for us, we need to let the person know in a kind and respectful way versus ghosting them or not being transparent about how we feel.

Use Dating Apps Appropriately

There are pros and cons of using dating apps and online dating services. On one hand, they can help establish that both people are looking for the same type of relationship before even meeting. On the other, stress and anxiety levels may increase if we spend a lot of time on them.8

One way to avoid the latter is to set boundaries with our dating app use. For instance, maybe we only check our dating app for 15 minutes three days a week instead of checking it constantly, several times a day.

It's also helpful to try to recognize if we're relying on a dating app to provide us with validation, which can negatively affect our self-esteem. Additionally, while using dating apps, we need to stay safe by protecting our personal information and blocking anyone who sends offensive messages.

Summary

People who enjoy the sense of freedom that comes with casual relationships should allow themselves to enjoy this style of dating. Conversely, those for whom casual dating goes against their values may want to abstain from this type of dating and that's okay, too. Casual dating isn't for everyone.

What if we want to casually date but find ourselves being held back by limiting beliefs? It can help to talk to a therapist or qualified mental health professional. This professional can help address and potentially reframe our mindset on this type of dating, making it feel okay.